Finding a job for me: the first scheduled application

I have found myself yet to complete an application. For me, sending applications without personalising them is a waste of time. Yet to personalise them takes time; more time than I have in an average evening. This evening, though, I managed to give the few hours necessary to research my first school: an excellent British school in Asia.

Part of the personalising process allows me to study the school more than I would do if I was speculating applications. It also allows me to find out other information from forum boards, FB and the rest. I take all of it with a pinch of salt. What is especially sea-faring is finding out that many students do not have English as their first language. I wonder what that might be like, to teach?

All such speculations melt into the background feeling that they are no longer the prime reasons for doing what I am doing. I feel that this term has been the best term of teaching I have done so far in my career. I wonder how much invigorated I have been from the possibility of some excitement, again?

If I was someone reading this, I would want to know the following. I have missed two applications that I thought I might want to apply for. I missed them because I scheduled them into my calendar, but clearly did not want to apply to them enough. By allocating a time, and missing that time, I feel that I had given them consideration. They were not enough to grab my attention, and therefore they were not the jobs for me.

It is empowering to think that amidst the complaining and uncertainty of the profession, I can feel that.

Choosing to write applications

I am a fan of Stephen Covey. Along with Dale Carnegie, he is the proponent of 'common sense' literature. While at times a little twee (treat others as you would yourself be treated) he speaks of some empowering stuff, such as the ability to get things started.

First thing in the morning is not the time to think about the future. Tiredness and the need to eat make the desire to achieve more drift to the back of my priorities.

Scheduling priorities is Stephen Covey's main selling-point. Procrastination is a thief, if you want to achieve. What is often not said, though, is that without time to reflect, action might be less meaningful, or at least considered. But in the life of a professional, especially a teacher, there is not time to act on everything, let alone reflect on those actions, too. Therefore, Covey talks about 'scheduling your priorities' rather than just prioritising what is on your scale.

At times I think I should just like to complete everything on my to-do list, and then complete the things that I feel expand or improve me. Completing an application form (even if I have no firm intention of taking the post) should be done. But I have an observation and more waiting for me this week. I could cut out all else today to complete things to the degree I wish. Or not.

In the spirit of this, I write what I need to do on post-it notes, and scribble those out. I place these post-it notes on a mat roughly in line with C's principles. Largely these are: 'from meetings', 'do now', 'schedule later'.

This was a do-now :-)

Progress to December

It is almost December. I managed to transfer most of my writings into this new blog. And so, what has happened since the start of the year that you would want to hear?

1) Ofsted is the word in our school. Teachers judged as 'outstanding' are now slated as ineffective. The word 'progress' is used to beat people with, but it is apparent that the word is not used in the same way that you or I might use it.

'Progress' apparently doesn't mean exam results: ours are the best in town. It also doesn't mean what many great teachers have said in the past: of children being excited about learning.

Whatever progress might actually mean, it is important for teachers in state schools to keep their heads and their nerves.

2) I have signed up to an international job agency. One issue, as always, is the urge of finding a British school. Many schools focus upon American teachers, it seems.

3) I have discovered that HTs only need to give three days interview leave a year. Further to that, a job fair isn't necessarily counted as an interview. Fortunately, I have many years of good service. However, the idea that job fair leave might be refused is symptomatic of how those who work in education are often infantalised.

4) I wanted to keep news of my interviews discreet. But it is apparent that some will have to know. I will simply have to manage the consequences of indiscreet people, should they fail to distinguish gossip from harm-mongering.

Aside from the above, there is little to report to you. Little save I love the autumn term, with its changes and hope and space and energy. It is, for me, my preferred time. 

Trying to start a new year

Preparations for a new year.

Normally I seek to prepare for the new school year over several days. Or at least a week. The past several years, I have not worked as hard as I purport, because working hard is not just about working hard at work. It is about working hard at chores, and working hard with people, and risking yourself and trying new things. And the excuses I have are thus:

1)                  Love is the most important thing, and all things should derive from love.

2)                  If you aren't feeling bored, embarrassed, or uncertain, you are living life right.

3)                  To feel the above things, you have to feel secure in yourself. You have to be certain that, on some level, you will be liked.

4)                  For a student, my esteem is unconditional, save the fact that they need to work-hard. Don't work hard, and I'll have little time for you, and I'll openly put more time into those that do work had. Working hard isn't necessarily about doing more work, but rather about satisfying my perception of of how hard you work.

5)                  My esteem of myself currently stems from my actions. In order to function beyond the atrophied emotional world of the past few years, I need something more than that. I need to be able to embrace uncertainty and boredom and embarrassment.

6)                  Embracing uncertainty, boredom and embarrassment is meant to have a purpose, and that purpose is to be 'successful.' But the missing piece is that I should be the abitare of my own fate.

7)                  This year I want to spend more time socialising. I should socialise when I don't want to. I should socialise for short times at a time. And I should do so with some kind of something.

Why write?

Writing is about context, of the play between readers, concepts and connotations. As a teacher I see a lot of writing. I read it in the limited context of a school, where I mark and judge.

A colleague told me once how he marked the writing of a newly landed Maori boy who described the recent funeral of his father. The narrative described the physicality of preparing his body in the family home, and the emotions of being surrounded by his grieving family. It was an intensely personal piece of writing. And yet the teacher was being asked to judge it for spelling, and grammatical accuracy.

This teacher conveyed to me just how jarring the boys request was to him. The purpose of the writing, for the teacher, wasn't just to refine grammatical skill; to reduce the boy's writing to this dry, context pummelled his sense of purpose – just what the hell was he doing?

Traditionally, writing is given legitimacy (and political power) through publication by large publishing houses. Once a particular level of accuracy and variety has been achieved, writing is about context. Without context, books are units to be sold, the publisher is a marketing company, and the writing is a brand name.

Fortunately, this does not need to be the case today. An audience can be found.

Notes on starting a new school year

Starting a new year in school

Each year in school starts with a new start. There are various points:

1)                  Administration of books.

2)                  Planning of first three weeks.

3)                  Classroom tided and folders/books thrown away/administrated.

4)                  Marking completed and folders handed over.

5)                  Markbook established.

6)                  Suits and shirts purchased and cleaned.

My first lesson is going to be refined:

1)                  Enter, some generic questions now (rather than a sheet of paper.)

2)                  Video to suggest motivation.

3)                  Review of last year.

4)                  Ambitions for this year?

5)                  Expectations of me and them.

Will

Will

For the past five years I have wanted to ask those around me what I should do. It has been, in some ways, half a life. But it has been necessary.

My mother never gives me advice on what I should do. She never responds when I speak about my ambitions. I have no dad to speak of, save a weak fool who fled his family. The one thing she did say today, which was a semblance of interaction, was that I didn't listen to anyone when it came to choosing my university.

At university, I did some stuff and then began a second year of an English degree. My marks were jogging around the first class/second class degree mark. I didn't have much idea of how to write better essays, and my tutors had little interest and even less time to help me. My essays were completed the night before, and had little proof-reading. I also, most importantly, struggled with finishing the books I was required to read.

In the space of what I should perhaps have done (read more books) I disregarded the negligent influence of my tutors, and decided to be the arbiter of the worth of my work. It led to the creation of several writing projects and some independent travelling.

Upon leaving university, I worked in two schools where I was duly battered by bullying bosses and my lack of character. With the help of a social Christian, I learned to be motivated by fear.

Fear is not always bad. Risk and uncertainty drive humanity, and give meaning and purpose and excitement. It can also stop people. Make them freeze.

Energy and action need to infuse me now. Not just working harder. Sacrifice and focus and moderation. Are these mutual terms?

As I might have said at a point earlier, it has been my ambition to lose weight and gain health and fitness. My biggest issue hasn't been too much drinking or too much smoking (or any smoking at all!) It has rather been too much sitting on my arse.

I am not so interested in family and in friends and in socialising. It isn't what interests my mind. But there is a bare minimum of being with people that I should do. Or, if I am otherwise, I should replace it with something else other than sitting on my arse.

One of my problems is sleeping. I find it hard to sleep at a regular time. I find it hard to clear things out. I find it hard to organise.

Before I left, I struggled to throw out anything. I left my apartment with a horde of resources that I never used. And will almost certainly never use.

It is at this point that I should look to what I have done:

a) Always turned up to work, and always on time. The one time in four years I overslept, I rode into school.

b) I found myself a church that I attended for two years.

c)                  I ran the best times I've ever run in the 5k and 10k.

d)                 I ran a marathon.

e) yes. 

f) I completed several classic games, and some non-classic games. 

g) I achieved some great results in my last class.

h) I delivered several training sessions at a university.

I will say this about my mother: I could spend the rest of my years here, and there would be no response from her. She has strength and is a hero for my brother. And, for him, rightly so. But all she has experienced makes her who she is. And she cannot give me what I need, which is direction. It is expectations. She supports me with money, and seems to be accepting of some of the things I do.

But she is just a person. She has strength, but her position and her finite energy and time means that she cannot give me inspiration. She cannot give me a vision.

And, in lieu of any vision, a path that isn't absurd is one to follow.

The pain and boredom of my life now requires me to embrace boredom and pain. I need to be hungry.

I am food for worms. The greatness of my brother and the greatness of my mother are beyond me. I need to accept my mother for who she is. She deserves none of my ire.

And my father deserves a few words.

Hello Dad.

Hope you've enjoyed the holidays.

I wish that you took my enjoyment from being a father, but that isn't something that I can do. I wish that you wanted to take the time to reconcile yourself with your children. Sadly, with every passing year that you might have been capable of giving sinks. It reeks. It is rotten.

The opposite of love isn't hate; it is indifference. And that is what you have. But for all the things you do now, being a parent is what defines you more than anything. More than the acquaintances you make, and your perceived ambitions.

I don't say this thinking you'll change, or that you'll make the effort. You have the money and the means to ignore me the rest of your life, or to see me on your terms.

Love, your son. 

I need to be my own man. I need to sleep now with boredom and hunger. And I need to sleep many more nights, hungry and bored and with far less stuff then I have now.

Assumptions about teaching abroad, and my CV

I have not always wanted to be a teacher. This isn't something that I say on my CV, and my CV looks like I have always wanted to be a teacher.

I am successful as a teacher: my results are great and I have trained well. The past two years have seen my training curtail with our budget reductions. I was told, too, that there was little point giving me training because I was likely to leave.

I managed to find several training sessions. One went to another colleague (which was useful to them.) Another (for spoken language) was deemed not to be useful with the reason given that it was only part of the course. I found a free course, and another that I was willing to pay for, and both were refused because of the cost of covering. Of course, the fact that I have been off work once in six years should mean that I have some good-will sickness timed stored up. But that can't be expected.

Despite this, my CV looks like I've always wanted to be a teacher.

I am fortunate that all my observations have either been outstanding, or good with outstanding features. Last year I was observed formally four times.

Where to work abroad?

To those who want to work anywhere abroad regardless of where that might be, kudos is given by the agencies. My prejudices are strong:

a) North America. On a Fullbright exchange or similar, this could be useful. I suspect that many schools are like our inner-city schools, and there is tension in the vast economic cuts.

b) South America. Violence and gang warfare is my narrow image of this continent. History and friendliness are prevalent, too. I remember reading of the experience of a teacher in an agency job interview. They were guided to apply for work in Columbia. Now, this teacher's prejudice was shaped in a way similar to mine: the world cup footballer who was killed for scoring an own goal, and the rife drug wars and kidnappings of foreign nationals.

Of course, other countries have similar problems. And there are areas of England just as dangerous as some of those in Columbia. Most importantly, those who work in the place can experience safety and culture.

During the interview with leadership from this British school in Columbia, the teacher expressed his fears. The result was a lambasting from the school leadership who criticised the man, citing that Columbia was clearly safe.

Part of working abroad is its inherent risk. These teachers had risked the move to work in Columbia, and defended their choice to do so. Their awareness that others perceived a risk in travelling there, and their refusal to acknowledge that risk, is one of the reasons that I am highly unlikely to want to work in a school like that.

c)                  Africa.

I have never been to Africa. Of it my impressions are that it is a beautiful country with very many undeveloped parts. It is not as dangerous as South America, but it is not as developed.

d)                 Australasia

See North America, but more chilled out.

e) Asia

Perhaps the place I would most likely teach. Interesting place.

f) Europe.

Meh. Teach there already.