And so I find myself just past 3am writing about teaching. But, of course, this blog is about as much to do with teaching as my teaching is to do with teaching. There is no way on God's sweet earth that I teach to gain kudos from people I will never even meet. From those I do meet, my aims may match theirs: my aims are not theirs.
This holiday I have found myself each day moving closer to a style of planning to which I am accustomed. I have found it difficult to sleep, and I have struggled to find myself with a desire to sleep early.
Teaching abroad saw me desire adventure and to test myself. Very easily, I have mastered the immediate world around me, and gained plaudits in the process. But are still valleys waiting to be both discovered and created. And what will I do with those?
I need to plan to the point where I am happy with how things are connected. When there are connection with the things that ultimately matter, then the things that are passing can be playful.
To make these abstractions clearer, I think of my music. Recently I have played several times with a band, most notably to a wild audience at Christmas. While some notes were missed, the spirit and sound drove the audience. Should I have given a huge amount more to the practice, the gig would have not have been a huge amount better.
And with limited time on this earth, I need to begin to decide what it is that I wish to dedicate my time to. Love appears to be the answer.
