Another come-back day

And so yesterday I ate three smoothies of vegetables, and well elsewhere. The day was marked by waking up at 2am (this morning) with the need to eat two chocolate bars. It appears my addiction to sugar is not slight.

Yesterday I experienced the presence of two whirlpool workers who gave me what I thought was terrible advice. I am without a fridge that freezes, but that is surely a small point of consideration. It is one of the small domestic hassles of poor service, and poor care, that makes me feel I need to push and cajole for basic attention. It is tiny, but no less frustrating because of that.

Yesterday I managed to play football for 90 minutes. It was good. I felt good. I got a few kicks, and strained my leg again, but not too badly. Since I have returned two days ago, I have felt really rather healthy in comparison. Hopefully, more vegetables and less sugar will leave me with more energy.

I did not really quite finish planning a lecture I need to deliver soon. But I am happy enough, nevertheless, with the quiet direction my mind is taking these current days. I intend to see my friend and take some coffee and time together.

Finally, in the name of comfort, I am considering purchasing an expensive pillow, and a decent acoustic guitar. While this might be money I will not recoupe, I think that I need to have something I can play.

I am also thinking about the chance to just read. 

First 'come back' day of the Holiday

And so last night I was meant to see a friend and, like so often, I didn't only just not go - I didn't tell my friend that I fell asleep.

I woke up today, desiring the boredom and spartan excitement that comes with discipline. I am 75kg, resolutely, with the lack of nutrients in my body telling as well.

I am wondering what kind of routine to live. I think that, rather than complain, I should accept and live the kind of life that will allow me to do more.

I am not happy with the kind of side of myself I have been showing. I need more energy. I need more energy here.

And so some tidying has been done. And I will see my friend soon. That should be enough. Ish.

I think there needs to be some stillness. Some quiet. Some reading in the moment.

And so I have tided my place, and I have begun to get some things in place. I need to appreciate that there is a time to do things. And that I have been far too hash on myself in regards to the timing of things. Procrastination is not a demon. Time to sit and reflect and enjoy is essential. To be too hard on oneself is foolish, and counterproductive.

And so near the end of the day I have purchased good food, and a blender. Hopefully I will feel very soon...

Returning from Holiday

I sit here now with strength more than expected from my holiday. I will make a coffee and porridge and will return - milk is needed.

It took some time but I did this.

And while I sit here with too little sleep, and a fridge that seems a little broken, I am happy enough with what I have, and with what I will do.

Completing a list is not what I should be doing... I am at the point now where I do not want to put a date on things like listening to podcasts.

What I absolutely realised this holiday is that I am not someone who really is able to leave the worthwhileness of my work. I need much time to sit and just be. And, I think, I need to begin to get rid off stuff and actually relax.

I also am looking at travelling in Japan. It will be expensive, but that is to be expected. I think, as before, just reading and being, is ideal.

I also want to at some point, today or tomorrow, write about my experiences reading. It is the experience of the mind, and even now, afterwards, that I seek. 

Post just before I left

Today I finish at school for the term; the spirit came from unusual places.

I lead as I might do: was it enough? More than some.

Heightened and widened space opens inside my chest: I am ready to travel. I see the smoky light of my flat cloud in from the unwashed window.

I am here.

I am to choose between a backpack and a pushbag. I will try the backpack.

I am taking an excellent tablet (my YogaPad), and a bluetooth keyboard. I considered purchasing a new notepad computer - thought against it. The truth be told, I think that this combination will be good enough for my purposes.

I am taking American dollars with me: I have about 250 pounds worth. That should be enough to tide me along initially.

I have travel insurance.

I have checked in online.

I have decent money, I have have helped friends, and I am ready to soon sleep.

I will only take one pair of shoes; walking boots.