Less Scattered; More Focused

Modern living leaves us scattered, our finite energies dissipated into the evening sky, dwindling smoke that disappears.

I desire readers: I should read myself.  

'Motivation'

In ways, my motivation at this time has waned. 

There are many folks I could decry: the fairly typical machinations of people vying for position in institutions. There are archetypes: 

a) The teachers who fled the country after affairs. 

b) The teachers who suffered unfeasible personal loss after drinking too much: death and deportation.   

c) The teachers who find knowledge tedious, and openly so. 

d) The teachers who 'do it already', and seek to reduce their investment. 

e) The leaders who facilitate the above. 

It is somewhat easy to look at the above and sneer. 

What do I notice?

On the Sunday after music I realise how I often do not feel physically excited in the way I once did. 

Music means much to me, not least because it transitioned my quiet home life into something more exciting outside. 

I am not physically excited because I feel the things I could achieve are within my grasp, and that does not excite me. 

Perhaps I should take some time to reflect and appreciate what about the world I might enjoy. 

On Friday I stood in front of many, and played electronic music with confidence. 

I absorbed the weak angst of a leader, and was a guardian angel for others

The irksome individualism of a musician was challenged

The plaudits of my charges were accepted

Last week I managed to do as little work as possible. 

= work is simply a grind at the moment, without much pleasure, and with little physical excitement.